Ask the Question

Have you ever noticed how important it can be to ask the right question?
How about when talking to yourself? The right question can open up endless
possibilities in your life. That is probably why I love coaching so much.
Listening and asking non-judgmental questions--just being curious can help
someone get clear on what is going on in their life. There is pain and sometimes confusion when we challenge ourselves and get honest about what is really going on.
Is that why we sometimes choose to stay unconscious? If you wanted to be brave and find out something about yourself and discover or uncover something in your life, what would the question be? Ask the question. Listen to the answer.


The right question can be the bridge back to living our lives on a more conscious level and that can lead to fear, pain and confusion (not any one's favorite subjects!)

Yet, what amazing gifts can be found just beyond the pain? How would life change?

For me, the question becomes, "What choices am I currently making in my life that are exhausting me and keeping me small?" And, since everything in my life is a result of the decisions I have made in the past, how can I begin to make new ones and create a new reality for myself?



Powerful Questions. If you ask the right one and take in the answer, it can bring you closer to your higher self...and change the course of your journey.

PRESENT, PAST, IMAGINATION


"Operate out of your imagination--not your memory."
---Les Brown


How much do we allow past experiences to shape our ideas, perceptions and opinions? How much of what we see in the world is "tainted" or prejudged by the experiences we have had in the past? 10%. 25%. 100%? How often do we tap into our imaginations and allow ourselves to freely experience something as new, fresh and full of possibility?

While it is true that the past can serve us as a place to learn our history, maybe our main concern should be with where we are at this moment and what lies ahead. I once read it described in a book that it is like driving a car. The front view is a lot bigger (and more important!) than the rear view mirror when you are trying to move ahead. Looking back too much will surely keep you from where we want to go & it may also make you crash.

I am often faced with the "rear view " dilemma when I am facing a challenge or I am trying to move out of my comfort zone. The voice that is trying to protect me screams out all of the reasons I should play it safe. It usually has something to do with what didn't work out in the past. It is always amazing to see what can shift, however, when you take in the lessons of the past but fix your eyes and your passion firmly ahead of you to the goal at hand. In this way, you can honor your inner wisdom in both perspectives and move confidently forward in the direction of your dreams. Your memory can remind you, but imagination can set you free!

OK--My Quick Tip is not so quick this month....forgive me, I was feeling inspired!

QUICK TIP--MAY

Many times in life, we look for a dose of motivation to get us moving on the right track. We are all in need of a little "push" from time to time. But what if I told you there was an easier way to create new habits, change behavior, and develop new thoughts? If we want change to be long lasting and less stressful, we need to look for INSPIRATION.

Motivation and inspiration are two different things. While both can move you into the life you want, motivation is more of a push and is based in fear. We are motivated to go to the gym because of the fear of weight gain. We are motivated to work hard because of the fear of loss of security. More motivation is needed to keep us from feeling our fear of failure. Motivation can have many positive effects in our lives but the root of what is moving us is fear.

Inspiration, on the other hand, comes from connecting with the power within and actually pulls us closer to our goal because we have found a compelling reason to get there. True inspiration moves us because we have connected with our values (and our greatness!) and it becomes easier to take the step forward. Do we still feel the fear? Absolutely! The reward is greater, however, and the focus has shifted. We are drawn to new behaviors because it is a true reflection of our "spirit". Thus, we are inspired!

So, to be inspired is to go to the gym to connect with your vibrant energy and honor your body. Inspiration at work draws you to a project that reflects your values and makes you feel fulfilled. Inspiration in life is to allow yourself to open up and take the chance to let your true self shine through.

Shine On & Enjoy the Journey!

Courtney

MAKING A DIFFERENCE

When we think about "making a difference", we often frame it as a positive one. What do we want our legacy to be? How do we want to impact the world around us? Well, after thinking this very thought the other day I realized, we are always making a difference. Sometimes it is conscious and on purpose, and sometimes we don't have any idea of the effect. Sometimes it is a positive action and sometimes it is a negative one. Whether or not we fully acknowledge it, we are constantly shaping the world by what we are sending out to it.

With every choice we are confronted with, we are choosing to add our mark. It is the stamp we put on situations....a stamp of what we are really thinking, feeling, and of what we want to pass around in the world. Are we sending out patience and support? Or is it frustration and anger? Judgement? Tolerance? If a friend is looking for help, if someone cuts you off in traffic, if a family member is trying your patience, or if work is stressing you out, could it be that how we choose to react is what we cultivate more of in this world?

As humans, it seems we are always searching for the meaning. We hop from project to project, person to person, job to job looking for THE THING that we can connect with to become the people we strive to be. But what if the true meaning lies not only in the big moments but is weaved into the fabric of everyday life? Think about the smaller interactions we have all encountered that have made a big impact on us in some way. And let's look at our own "stamp" and see what it is we are contributing to the world....it can make all the difference.

PURPOSE--You can take it with you anywhere


So often, when people think about Purpose and wonder what their mission is on this planet, they often put it in the same catagory as employment. "I haven't found my purpose" becomes a quest to find the right job. It seems to me, however, that your purpose in life may or may not have something to do with your career and maybe the happiest people you will meet in life have found a way to live their purpose within every area of their lives, regardless of what their "job" is.

Many clients who have come to me have realized (usually in their 30's) that the career they established was based more on other peoples input than a passion with in themselves. As we are so influenced by others, this is absolutely normal. If you should find yourself in that spot, however, there are 3 things you can do. 1. Stay the same . 2. figure out what your passion is, what your purpose calls you forth to do and inject that in to your current situation 3. Find a job or career that better fits your purpose.

Whatever you find your purpose to be, to build, to communicate, to create, to teach, inspire, to have fun....find ways to live that purpose in the life you have now. This will bring you abundant joy and you will be LIVING ON PURPOSE. And if you feel confused and are not sure what to do next, use purpose as a foundation, follow its gift, and the next step will reveal itself to you.

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." --Anais Nin


Is there a dream in you that wants to bloom? Are you ready to share it with the world? Sometimes we have to reach a point where the pain and sadness of inaction is more overwhelming than the fear of taking the leap. Often we find it hard to move to our next level of greatness because it is easier to stay with "the devil we know". What a beautiful thing it is, however, when we can turn the corner and embrace a new possibility. Sometimes it takes years--maybe even a lifetime to open up to true purpose.


And sometimes, the shift can happen in an instant.

LIVING ON PURPOSE---A SPRING WORKSHOP

Hello Everyone! I am very excited to be partnering with the lovely ladies of Santosha Yoga Studio in Cranston and I would like to invite you all to a workshop!

From time to time, we all become overwhelmed with negative thinking and energy drains. Getting stuck in the cycle can distract us from living life authentically and pursuing our dreams. In this workshop, we will explore what it means to take your power back, how to best re-connect with what you truly want in life and where to find the energy to live your life ON PURPOSE.

Sunday, April 22 nd 12-1:30 pm

$15

Santosha Yoga Studio

14 Bartlett Ave. Cranston, RI

www.YogaAtSantosha.com 401.780.9809

Pre-Registration required

MARCH QUICK TIP--CLUTTER-FREE

We are just a few weeks away from spring and you know what that means...Spring cleaning time! It is a really great excuse to go in for the deep clean and get rid of anything that is zapping your energy. How you feel when you walk into your house or office can have a lot to do with the things that occupy it. Do you have pictures and art up that makes you feel good? Are the colors working for you? Are there cluttered piles that need to be sorted through that make you feel exhausted every time you see them? Are the books and nick-nacks on the shelf and old clothes in the closet useful to you or are they just taking up space?

When I recently went through my house, I discovered some energy drains. Clothes that need to be donated to someone in need of a new wardrobe, books that need to find a new owner to learn from them. Old paperwork that wanted to be recycled. And an assortment of other objects that no longer served me...And I discovered that by clearing out, you not only feel better and lift your energy, you also make room for the new blessings to find you.

Enjoy the journey,
Courtney

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

Yes, it is true that our brains are hard wired to look for the "problems" in life and concentrate on them. The reason? We are solution seekers--the brain is only trying to find a way to fix what we perceive to be wrong in our lives. However, if you start to feel overwhelmed by what is wrong you become less inclined to be grateful for what is right in your life. The result can be
feelings of anxiety and unhappiness. What can be done to counteract this effect? One very easy way to bring yourself back into balance is through daily acknowledgement.


When was the last time you really thanked yourself for a job well done? Do you often take a moment out of your day to reflect on how much you do in your life? More importantly, how would it be to acknowledge the person that you are? YOUR BEING. We are so rewarded in society for constantly staying in action and being busy that we forget to be proud of the people we are and the integrity we hold on the inside. If we don't acknowledge and appreciate ourselves, who else will?


I know it is difficult and a little uncomfortable but I challenge you to start the process today. I have often assigned my clients to acknowledge themselves 25 times a day! At first, they had a hard time thinking of that many, but over time it became easier. It will really open your eyes to all of the beauty you bring to the world by just being present and more aware in your life. The more you practice, the more you will see what is ABSOLUTELY RIGHT in your life.
And that deserves some acknowledgement...

UPCOMING EVENT:

Would you like to network and have some fun?

I will be speaking at a new "network/netplay" group-- Women's Club SWANS

Thursday, March 15 th
Event starts at 6 p.m.

McGoverns on the Water
310 Shove Street
Fall River, Ma 02724

Receive $5 off registration if you register by Feb. 28 th and mention my name!

For more info:Women's Club SWANS March Netplay Event

James Baldwin: "Any real change implies the breakup of the world as one has always known it, the loss of all that gave one identity, and the end of safety. It is only when one is able, without bitterness or self-pity, to surrender a dream one has long cherished, or a privilege one has long possessed, that one has set oneself free for higher dreams, for greater privileges."

QUICK TIP--FEBRUARY

When I first read this quote from James Baldwin it made me a little sad. Then, I read it again and became really excited to share it with you. As a person who loves dreams and is passionate about helping people to "Dream Big" it was hard for me to think about letting them go. What I realized, however, is that there are times when we have outgrown our dreams and feel compelled to explore a different direction in our lives. As expert organizers often tell us, for every new thing we bring into our lives, it is best to let go of something we no longer use anymore. Often times we try to do both. Bring in the new and hold on to the safety of the old even though we have outgrown it....This keeps us in a type of limbo. We are not fully committed to a new change in our future but we no longer can honor the dreams of our past.
So, is there something in your life you would like to let go of in order to fully embrace a new dream for yourself? What is your exciting new dream for 2007?

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

We are one week into 2007...How are your New Year's Resolutions?? What are you wishing for? What do you want to change? What do you want more of?

Sometimes when we struggle to get what it is our heart is longing for, it is not because we don't deserve it. It may be a matter of tweaking how we are asking for it. The forces of the Universe want to help us but if we concentrate too hard on what we don't want, we end up attracting more of that. Instead of thinking about what you are fighting (ie: fighting to lose weight, struggling against debt, wishing for less demands on your life, frustrated about money and lack of abundance) how would it feel to shift your thoughts to WHAT YOU STAND FOR. When the stress triggers frustration, how about repeating a new mantra in your life?

"I stand for fitness and health. I stand for creating financial freedom. I create time and space for myself. I will see more opportunities to attract money easily."

It may feel funny at first---doesn't it always feel unnatural when trying to break an old habit? In time, you may feel less stressed out and more in control just by doing a little thought rearranging. What is it you would like to attract today??

For more on the Law of Attraction, visit www.thesecret.tv
The movie is an awesome way to begin to see how you can more powerfully create success (as defined by you!) in your life.

UPCOMING WORKSHOPS

Hi All! I have some workshops coming up for the new year....I will post any additions within the next few weeks but for now, you can mark these down in your calanders.


---Ladies, Take Your Energy Back!
Do you feel pulled in multiple directions?
Over-committed and drained of energy?
Are you a chronic people pleaser?

Join us for this workshop!
Learn 4 steps to successfully reclaim your time and energy so you may have a happy new year...
$10

7 p.m. Thursday, February 8, 2007

Care New England Center for Health
Route 1 South County Commons Way
S. Kingstown, RI 401.782.6866

7 p.m. Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Women & Infants Center for Health Education
1050 Main Street
East Greenwich, RI
401.886.4200

RSVP desired location or send email to courtneybedard@aol.com
See you there!!

Where does the time go??

Has it really been over 3 weeks since I logged on to my blog? Sometimes I am overwhelmed by just how fast the time goes by. This is especially true as we approach the holidays! Before we even realize it, we will be approaching New Year's day. So, my question is, what can we do to slow down and be more aware of what is going on around us? More specifially, how can we accomplish all of the tasks before us AND stay in the moment?

One thing that comes to mind that has helped me in the past to really stay present and attend to the myriad of responsibilities that we all have is to create a list of daily personal practices. These "routines" can be small acts that we commit to on a consistent basis so that over time, we can actually change our behavior or have success creating a new one. For example, it is really important for me to practice being grateful and remember to thank the powers that be for all that I receive in life. In order to actively do this, I have started a gratitude journal which I write in a few times a week. This allows me to have some quiet time for reflection on a consistent basis while helping my brain to be more aware of all I have to be thankful for. (Sometimes the brain can easily forget!) This practice also helps me stay focused on my values.

So, what personal practice would work for you? Would you like to incorporate meditation or a weekly yoga class to help keep you relaxed? Is there a quiet place you can visit every so often to help you recharge? How about a monthly manicure or massage? (That would be awesome, yes?) Whatever it is, just remember it is not so important that you do your new routine for long time spans--the consistency of your action is key to forming the habit. Just the act of setting an intention for the day may be all you need to keep yourself anchored during the hustle and bustle of the holiday season.

How different could your day be if you simply declare that you are going to have a stress-free enjoyable day? Setting intentions allows you to take the power back--It reminds you that your day is your own! We may not be able to slow time down but we can certainly take back the moments, become more aware of what we are choosing for ourselves and create some space and breathing room to call our own.

A COACHING MOMENT:

"Is the life I'm living the life that wants to live in me?"
---Parker Palmer


What does this quote mean to you?
Does it lead you to another question?
Is there anything to uncover?

"How many people are trapped in their everyday habits: part numb, part frightened, part indifferent? To have a better life, we must keep choosing how we are living."---Einstein

How often do we forget that this adventure on Earth is a continual process of growth and learning. Every moment of everyday we are given the chance to choose. Will we fall back on the way we were and continually make the same choices and think the same thoughts that we did 5 years ago, 5 weeks ago, 5 days ago? Or will we take our consciousness back and make a decision based on the now. Will we consider new possibilities, entertain new ideas and even contradict ourselves? Will we allow a new pathway to form in our brains that may result in a new way of living?

For the longest time, my life revolved around approval. I needed everyone to like me and support everything I was doing all of the time. One critical word would send me over the edge into the "land of obsessing". How many decisions did I make based on my need for everyone to like me? Tons. Where did that put me? At the mercy of everyone with an opinion.

While it has been a work in progress, I can confidently say that by evaluating what is important to me and CONSCIOUSLY taking action in that direction, I have been able to more fully live my life. With each new day, I have the chance to choose my actions based on a new set of values. And these values are the best ones I can live by because they are my own.

DID YOU KNOW???
According to the Journal of Experimental Psychology multi-tasking takes your brain 4 times longer to recognize and bounce back and forth between each process that you are attempting to group together. Because of this, it actually burns brain cells which lead to "senior moments" when we forget what we are doing and lose track of the task. Huh. One more arguement for doing ONE THING AT A TIME.

MORE ON "OPRAH DAY"

As I mentioned in the last post, I had a wonderful day of inspiration with Donna Mac and Cheryl at the "O YOU" Oprah magazine day in Boston a few weeks back. Of course, when I came home, I had planned to read through my notes and make immediate changes in my life based on my new found wisdom. Did it happen? Well, it has been a few weeks and I am now just getting to it! (sound familiar?)

Dr. Robin Smith, the pychologist who is featured in both the Oprah show as well as the magazine, had some very powerful words which I wanted to pass on to you. It is my hope that it may stir something up in you as it did in me. She explained that "your life is your watch" and we are all required to show up as grownups and basically "seize the day" the best way we know how. She posed a question which I thought was so simple yet so powerful. She said to ask yourself, "What is my life trying to tell me?" I wonder what interesting little answers would come from that if we just took a moment to consider it.

The other thought she left us with was that it is our LIVING that transforms people, not our PREACHING. Who are our mentors? Who do we admire? It is not solely in their words that we find inspiration but in the actions they take and the life they creste.
I think it is so important to remember that. We so easily slip into "preaching and telling" and forget that modeling the behavior and actions we value can be more powerful and useful to others than our words. (I am the first one to admit that I love talking but as they say, actions speak louder!)

For more on Dr. Robin, visit her website. www.drrobinsmith.com

FINDING INSPIRATION

I was so lucky to attend the Oprah magazine "O You" event in Boston a few weeks ago! The event featured some of the top contributers to the magazine including Suze Orman, Dr. Robin and Editor Gayle King. The key note speakers were amazing...they delivered truly inspirational and thought prokoving speeches. The only problem was that you wished you could bring them home with you so you could continue to learn and be supported on a daily basis. How often are we inspired only to "return home" to forget what we have been longing to hear?


Well, I don't think we forget so much as we push our new knowledge to the back of our minds. Sometimes the habits we live are so strong that it takes consistant exposure to the new idea in order for it to "take". It is really important to remember this while the process is going on. Yes, we all get excited when we have our "Aha" moment which changes the course of our life for the better but how many times were we exposed to the idea in the first place? What is the magic number?

I guess it comes down to this: How ever long it takes you to "get it" is how ever long it was suppose to take you. People ask, "Why am I still learning this lesson?"
The answer? Because you haven't fully learned it yet. There is still something there trying to teach you so you may reach your next level. And if you see the idea, the new thought, the action that you want to take and feel inspired and connected but you still don't take the leap, try to "up the dosage" to that which inspires you. With increased exposure, you will be that much closer to your "Aha" moment.

A coaching moment:

"Reach out and open the door that no one thought could be opened. Life is behind it."
----Kelly Ann Rothaus

What does that statement mean to you?
What do you want to "open up" in your life?
Where are your possibilities?
What is "behind the door" for you?