Where does the time go??

Has it really been over 3 weeks since I logged on to my blog? Sometimes I am overwhelmed by just how fast the time goes by. This is especially true as we approach the holidays! Before we even realize it, we will be approaching New Year's day. So, my question is, what can we do to slow down and be more aware of what is going on around us? More specifially, how can we accomplish all of the tasks before us AND stay in the moment?

One thing that comes to mind that has helped me in the past to really stay present and attend to the myriad of responsibilities that we all have is to create a list of daily personal practices. These "routines" can be small acts that we commit to on a consistent basis so that over time, we can actually change our behavior or have success creating a new one. For example, it is really important for me to practice being grateful and remember to thank the powers that be for all that I receive in life. In order to actively do this, I have started a gratitude journal which I write in a few times a week. This allows me to have some quiet time for reflection on a consistent basis while helping my brain to be more aware of all I have to be thankful for. (Sometimes the brain can easily forget!) This practice also helps me stay focused on my values.

So, what personal practice would work for you? Would you like to incorporate meditation or a weekly yoga class to help keep you relaxed? Is there a quiet place you can visit every so often to help you recharge? How about a monthly manicure or massage? (That would be awesome, yes?) Whatever it is, just remember it is not so important that you do your new routine for long time spans--the consistency of your action is key to forming the habit. Just the act of setting an intention for the day may be all you need to keep yourself anchored during the hustle and bustle of the holiday season.

How different could your day be if you simply declare that you are going to have a stress-free enjoyable day? Setting intentions allows you to take the power back--It reminds you that your day is your own! We may not be able to slow time down but we can certainly take back the moments, become more aware of what we are choosing for ourselves and create some space and breathing room to call our own.

A COACHING MOMENT:

"Is the life I'm living the life that wants to live in me?"
---Parker Palmer


What does this quote mean to you?
Does it lead you to another question?
Is there anything to uncover?

"How many people are trapped in their everyday habits: part numb, part frightened, part indifferent? To have a better life, we must keep choosing how we are living."---Einstein

How often do we forget that this adventure on Earth is a continual process of growth and learning. Every moment of everyday we are given the chance to choose. Will we fall back on the way we were and continually make the same choices and think the same thoughts that we did 5 years ago, 5 weeks ago, 5 days ago? Or will we take our consciousness back and make a decision based on the now. Will we consider new possibilities, entertain new ideas and even contradict ourselves? Will we allow a new pathway to form in our brains that may result in a new way of living?

For the longest time, my life revolved around approval. I needed everyone to like me and support everything I was doing all of the time. One critical word would send me over the edge into the "land of obsessing". How many decisions did I make based on my need for everyone to like me? Tons. Where did that put me? At the mercy of everyone with an opinion.

While it has been a work in progress, I can confidently say that by evaluating what is important to me and CONSCIOUSLY taking action in that direction, I have been able to more fully live my life. With each new day, I have the chance to choose my actions based on a new set of values. And these values are the best ones I can live by because they are my own.

DID YOU KNOW???
According to the Journal of Experimental Psychology multi-tasking takes your brain 4 times longer to recognize and bounce back and forth between each process that you are attempting to group together. Because of this, it actually burns brain cells which lead to "senior moments" when we forget what we are doing and lose track of the task. Huh. One more arguement for doing ONE THING AT A TIME.

MORE ON "OPRAH DAY"

As I mentioned in the last post, I had a wonderful day of inspiration with Donna Mac and Cheryl at the "O YOU" Oprah magazine day in Boston a few weeks back. Of course, when I came home, I had planned to read through my notes and make immediate changes in my life based on my new found wisdom. Did it happen? Well, it has been a few weeks and I am now just getting to it! (sound familiar?)

Dr. Robin Smith, the pychologist who is featured in both the Oprah show as well as the magazine, had some very powerful words which I wanted to pass on to you. It is my hope that it may stir something up in you as it did in me. She explained that "your life is your watch" and we are all required to show up as grownups and basically "seize the day" the best way we know how. She posed a question which I thought was so simple yet so powerful. She said to ask yourself, "What is my life trying to tell me?" I wonder what interesting little answers would come from that if we just took a moment to consider it.

The other thought she left us with was that it is our LIVING that transforms people, not our PREACHING. Who are our mentors? Who do we admire? It is not solely in their words that we find inspiration but in the actions they take and the life they creste.
I think it is so important to remember that. We so easily slip into "preaching and telling" and forget that modeling the behavior and actions we value can be more powerful and useful to others than our words. (I am the first one to admit that I love talking but as they say, actions speak louder!)

For more on Dr. Robin, visit her website. www.drrobinsmith.com

FINDING INSPIRATION

I was so lucky to attend the Oprah magazine "O You" event in Boston a few weeks ago! The event featured some of the top contributers to the magazine including Suze Orman, Dr. Robin and Editor Gayle King. The key note speakers were amazing...they delivered truly inspirational and thought prokoving speeches. The only problem was that you wished you could bring them home with you so you could continue to learn and be supported on a daily basis. How often are we inspired only to "return home" to forget what we have been longing to hear?


Well, I don't think we forget so much as we push our new knowledge to the back of our minds. Sometimes the habits we live are so strong that it takes consistant exposure to the new idea in order for it to "take". It is really important to remember this while the process is going on. Yes, we all get excited when we have our "Aha" moment which changes the course of our life for the better but how many times were we exposed to the idea in the first place? What is the magic number?

I guess it comes down to this: How ever long it takes you to "get it" is how ever long it was suppose to take you. People ask, "Why am I still learning this lesson?"
The answer? Because you haven't fully learned it yet. There is still something there trying to teach you so you may reach your next level. And if you see the idea, the new thought, the action that you want to take and feel inspired and connected but you still don't take the leap, try to "up the dosage" to that which inspires you. With increased exposure, you will be that much closer to your "Aha" moment.

A coaching moment:

"Reach out and open the door that no one thought could be opened. Life is behind it."
----Kelly Ann Rothaus

What does that statement mean to you?
What do you want to "open up" in your life?
Where are your possibilities?
What is "behind the door" for you?

Sometimes it only takes a small challenge to motivate ourselves...

Last Sunday, a friend and I decided to take the challenge. We set out to run the downtown 5k race that was being held in Providence. Now, I admit, I am not the biggest fan of running but when I'm at the gym on the treadmill I can usually pull off 3 miles or so with out stopping. For some reason, however, when I try to run outside, I can't do it!!! I go for maybe 5-10 minutes (if I am lucky) and stop to "take a little break"--which usually turns into a walk.

So, as we walked to the start of the race, I did fear I wouldn't be able to keep up. (over 3 miles outside? ugg) And guess what? I will never know if I could have because oddly enough, we missed the kick off of the race. (I am still baffled by that!) So we decided to enter the next one...a 3k with the high schoolers!

We thought about borrowing a team shirt to "fit in" but ultimately none of the teens payed us any mind--(probably thought I was someone's mother). The 3k began and we were off!

Now, I do realize that the race was short (1.86 miles to be exact) and that many people could have run that in no time at all with out so much as wiping their brow but to me, it is all relative. The fact that I didn't stop when I was uncomfortable, I kept up the brisk pace while grabing for water and I continued on uphill (I HATE HILLS)put a smile on my face at the end.

No, it wasn't the hardest challenge I have ever taken but sometimes in life you need to acknowledge yourself for the times you kept going even though you could have stopped with out consequence. Sometimes you need to prove something to yourself just because the opportunity is there. And sometimes all of the small stuff can add up to inspire you to take on life's big challenges. When you are ready to take the big leap, you can look back on all of your experiences and know that you can do it.

THE TWO PARTS INSIDE OF US

There are two parts inside of us:

One part lives in insecurities, is bound by fear, is not a big fan of failure, doesn't want to make a mistake or disappoint anyone, wants to please at all costs, stay safe and avoid growth. It has a hard time believing in things it can't see.

The other part that lives in us is our higher self. It walks with quiet confidence, innate knowledge of purpose, seeks alignment, wants to help others reach their potential and is on a quest to grow and experience life fully. It acts courageously inspite
of fear, has faith and is most connected to soul.

Which part do you want to be bigger in you?
Whichever one you pay more attention to will grow.

How do you know the difference between the two?

One acts to avoid pain and uncertainty--plays small.
One opens up and moves toward freedom. Trusts in purpose--plays big.


Which part do you want to be bigger in you?
Whichever one you pay more attention to will grow.

Breathe in all that you are ready to receive...
Breathe out all that you want to give.


Empower your dreams!
Courtney Kelley Bedard

HOPE TO SEE YOU WEDNESDAY!

I will be speaking at the RI Women's Networking meeting at 5:30 p.m.
on Wednesday September 13, 2006 at Pat Orlando's Restaurant in
Johnston, RI. Feel free to log on to www.riwomensnetwork.com
for more info!

THE COMPANY YOU KEEP

Do you want to make some changes in your life? Looking to start a business? Change careers? Make more money? Have a better marriage? Well, aside from reading books on the subject and doing research on the web, the best way to make a change is to find someone who has what you want and talk to them! Interview the business owner about her experiences as an entrepreneur. Take the guy out to lunch who can teach you about investments. Talk to your grandparents about what it took to stay married for 50 years. Look for inspiration from the people who have already started down the path you are embarking on. They've made mistakes that you can learn from. They can pass on tips to help you stay focused on your goal. Most importantly, they can help you to see that what you want really is possible.

STRESSED OUT???

Who isn't stressed out these days, I wonder!! I was hanging out with my 13 year old step son asking him all about what is going on in his life ("nothin much" was as far as I could get) when I hit on a subject that perked him up....video games. "So", I ask, "what do you love about playing video games?" Know what he said? The number 1 reason he liked playing video games was because it calmed him down when he was stressed out and didn't feel like thinking. STRESSED OUT? School is not even in session and this kid is stressed out? Where did he learn about high stess levels and why does he think this is the best way to lower them? What is he anxious about? So, it got me thinking......


We all carry around worries and concerns that we need to deal with daily. How many times have we said to other people that we just can't take it--we are frustated, unhappy or just plain exhausted. What is it we reach for when we feel this way? Some go off to the gym. Some to the bar. Some to a friends house or out for coffee. Some block everyone out and withdraw.

What are we teaching out kids about managing anxiety? What are we teaching each other about finding our center and feeling calm? When did thinking and feeling become so undesirable and painful?

"The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem." --Theodore Rubin

I love that quote because it really offers another perspective on how we can view issues that confront us. Tuning out and turning off are valuable tools to have to lower stress levels from time to time but let's not stop there. We are capable of coming up with so many other ways of dealing with life's "problems". What would be possible if we encouraged our our kids (and one another) to reconnect and really listen to what is going on inside of us? Is there something we need more of in our lives? Less of? Sometimes, we may want to choose nurturing over numbing...

"Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared to believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance."----Bruce Barton

• JUST SAY NO! Breaking your own rules... Do you sometimes feel like a prisioner to the rules you have created for yourself in life? It's that pesky set of regulations we all employ in order to keep us living the way we are suppose to live . Sometimes, the rules reflect a variety of "shoulds" and "musts" wrapped up in a package of guilt and obligation. We may pick up other peoples' rules and try our best to fulfill their way of living. I am continually trying to evaluate if what I am imposing on myself is truly a reflection of my values or is someonelse's influencing my decision making. Women especially have struggled with the idea that they must be everything to everyone (a very popular rule these days!) and it leaves many with a depletion of energy, a scarcity of time and an abundance of resentment. So, let's look at the rules. When it comes down to it, they do not need to be catagorized as good or bad but we can simply ask ourselves if they are a reflection of what we value. Some rules in life allow us to hold ourselves to a higher standard and give us a sense of accomplishment and others deplete us and keep us in a cycle of obligation. But here is the cool thing: WE GET TO DECIDE WHAT STAYS, WHAT GOES AND WHICH RULES GET BENT (ever so slightly!). How would it be to take an inventory of all the crazy rules we live by and consciously re-examine if they still fit our lives? How would it be to give yourself the time, space and PERMISSION to take your power back and choose what rules you would like to have working for you? (rather than you working for them) So, let's all take a deep breath and BREAK SOME RULES!! The possibilities are endless...

WE ALREADY HAVE ALL THAT WE NEED TO PURSUE OUR DREAMS.............................WoW What a concept! Tony Robbins famously coined the term "No Excuses Policy" and it refers to the state of mind we can all adopt when we decide we are sick and tired of standing in our own way. How would it be to decide that in fact at this moment you do have enough money, time and resources to move toward your vision, that you are already the perfect weight, you are not too old (or young) people do want to hear what you have to say, you are not being silly and you are exactly where you need to be to make a bold move to a more fulfilling life (as defined by YOU!) Oh no! No More Excuses! In my own life, that would mean adopting a more critical eye (and ear) when facing down my limiting beliefs. Sometimes the voice I listen to is masquerading around as a protector or the "wise voice of reality" when really it is just another insecurity encouraging me to listen to yet another excuse. So, what would be possible if we all adopted a "No excuse Policy" for a day? A week? A month? What could shift in your life?

Potential--That is a word I have been thinking alot about lately. I have been reading an amazing book called "The other 90%" by Robert K. Cooper and according to him, we only use about 10 % of the power and potential we have inside of us. What about the other 90% in deed! What is it exactly that prevents us from seeing ourselves as whole beings with not only the means but the ability to manifest anything that we desire in life. Many would say they lack the support, lack the time and of course the money (always a biggie) but is that the truth? I have often held back my best, suppressed my passion and sold myself short all in the name of "lack". And what does living in "lack" get you? More lack!! It is a cycle that is hard to break as most everyone around us will concur. We live in a scarcity mentality--always told to "play safe", not dream too big, don't desire too much and only expect to receive what others will give you. But what if we are not built that way? What if nature meant for us to be bold, get messy, experiment with the world around us and most of all FOLLOW OUR POWER and tap fully into our potential. What would happen if we could stand in the belief that we already know what is best for us in our lives and actually honor ourselves by following our power rather than hiding as our power tries to find us. Where ever we are in life at this moment is exactly where we need to be in order to move to the next place and YOU ALREADY HAVE ALL THAT YOU NEED. Now all we have to decide is what will lead us next. Will it be fear? External forces? Excuses? Or will we tap into the other 90%......

WORKSHOP ANNOUNCEMENT Take Your Energy Back! A free workshop for the ladies--guilt free techniques to say "no" to energy drains so you may live the life you want

Empowerment Fitness & Wellness
2 Starline Way Cranston, RI
(just off 295 Plainfield Pike exit)


Thursday, May 25 th, 2006 7 p.m.


RSVP courtneykelley88@hotmail.com

Hello everyone and welcome to my first blog! If I can do this, well, I guess anyone can figure this out! So here goes...I am very exited to create this blog as a resource site for anyone who needs a little dose of inspiration from time to time. Because I am a life coach and motivational speaker, I am continually looking for ways to encourage people to follow their passion in life and face down the negative forces which try to hold them back. With support, acknowlegement and accountability, how far could you go? What are the dreams you have for your life? What makes you happy? What have you left behind along the way because fear crept in and redirected your path? Finding your purpose, living with integrity and honoring your values can be the hardest yet most rewarding journey you can embark on. I hope this blog serves to help you as you courageously make your way back to your dreams, your passion and your true self. Shine on...